I wish my trauma would leave enough room for love

I wish regardless of my years that my tears were just the cause of bugs

And your tone didn't make me spiral

That my brain didn't run a mile 

Away from you

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I wish my parents didn't make me question myself

I wish my family felt like a family and not a picture frame meant to be on a shelf

Meant to look perfect and not scream

Meant to be blonde and to be clean

But I'm not that

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You weren't there when I screamed at the mirror 

Begging God what's wrong with me, to help me see it clearer

To put me out of my misery and everyone around me to move on

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But the thought of what comes after kept me moving forward

How my leaving was a mistake and you'd say my mind was fractured

But when I tried to let you know you yelled and called me shallow and cruel